Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

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This title is the first one I have read by Dr. Kevin Leman. I am so impressed with him and his humorous, helpful style that he will likely be on my list of favorite authors. Leman's personality comes through strong in this volume about married life, laughter, and the language of love.

I read this book first, and then my wife was so intrigued by my interest that she read it as well. My wife is normally not a reader of non-fiction, but this title held her attention to the very end. Both of us later described this volume by remarking, "This guy is so right on target with his description of what makes men/women tick!"

Leman is a devout Christian, and as such remains within biblical guidelines in his sexual advice. He definitely is NOT however, puritanical by any means. He describes sex in marriage as a gift from God to be thoroughly enjoyed, not as a necessary evil to be endured.

For years as a pastor I've recommended one other particular title to newlyweds as an "all-you-wanted-to-know-about-sex-but-was-afraid-to-ask" book. I am so impressed that this title will now replace it. Buy it for your marriage, read it in your marriage, and learn even more about this wondrous gift God has provided!

This is truly the most incredible marriage book I have ever read! Dr. Leman is just so right-on about what makes men tick and what drives them sexually (and its more in-depth than one would think!). It made me realize that men are not just after the sex, per se, but the intimate connection that sex provides for a couple. He has such incredible insight about the role of sex in a marriage and he backs it all up biblically - making sex within marriage not just right, but mandated by God! Christians and non-Christians alike will appreciate his insight into what makes men and women tick (its scary how well he gets inside a womans mind AND body) and this book would benefit any marriage having difficulties of any kind, or even none at all. Finding the common ground on sex can be so difficult - just the introduction of this book cleared up so many issues in my mind. I can't begin to say how highly I recommend this book to everyone - I am just so thankful to Dr. Leman for such a clear look into the mind of my husband!

Psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Kevin Leman pulls back the sheets on the scintillating subject of sexual intimacy in his latest book, SHEET MUSIC. While it's a return of sorts to the territory that he covered in SEX BEGINS IN THE KITCHEN, Leman uncovers much more ground in this revealing look at the secrets to connubial bliss.

"It's not just a how-to-do-it manual," writes Leman. "This is more of a do-it-yourself look at why to do it and how to do it better." With his trademark wit and wisdom, Leman offers couples no-nonsense guidance for creating and keeping a satisfying sexual relationship.

The provocative primer includes 31 ideas for sensual surprises, including a racy recipe for creating a chocolate bath complete with whipped cream. Also included for readers are helpful suggestions for identifying and satisfying not only the needs but also the desires of their spouses.

"One of the most loving and holy things you can do in marriage is to provide a sexually fulfilling pursuit of your husband or wife," Leman writes. "Therefore without apology, this is the most explicit book I've ever written. Probably everybody will be offended by at least one thing I say in this book."

Leman confesses that the book was the hardest to write of the 25 titles he's written to date and even goes so far as to include a brief note to readers, admitting that part of what is included in the book may be too forward for some. For readers in premarital counseling specifically, he suggests saving the second half of the book for the honeymoon.

In the chapter titled "A Very Special Connection," Leman addresses several of the more common sexual positions and even some of the not-so-common ones. Later in the book, he is supportive of oral sex, devoting an entire chapter to "Oral Delights."

Throughout the book, Leman stresses the need to consider the appetites of one's spouse and suggests never coercing them into any type of sex act unwillingly. The law of love is to rule in the bedroom as much as any place else, he maintains.

Arguably somewhat graphic in places for a Christian sex guide, the book nevertheless excels at confronting unhealthy sexual inhibitions in the name of liberating couples' God-given passions for their own good.

While not for the faint of heart, SHEET MUSIC is a much-needed resource for recovering sexual intimacy in marriage. Leman has composed a stirring classic, moving readers to create beautiful music together. Encore!

--- Reviewed by Sean Fowlds

Most Christian books on sexuality dance around honest questions regarding the basics of sexual intimacy and fundamental biological differences between men and women. I grew up in a Christian environment and am familiar with the evangelical approach to sexuality: a curious mix of "Don't ask, Don't tell" and the sentiment that if you're a good person and you communicate with your spouse, the two of you will just figure it out.

From that perspective, "Sheet Music" is a breath of fresh air for mainstream Christian couples, providing plain straightforward answers to some very blunt questions (including special considerations for first-time lovers, positions that please a woman, improving ejaculatory control, creating a lifestyle that nurtures intimacy on all levels, etc.)

Dr. Leman does well to communicate that God created sex for the pleasure of monogamous couples, and Christians should not feel shame in talking very candidly about sexual matters. But, he shatters his own credibility with a frequently awkward tone and substandard schoolboy attempts at wit that wind up more irritating than personable. Perhaps, in an attempt to show his liberty in discussing sexual matters, he over-compensated in his use of sexual innuendo and cheap locker room jokes. As a person who has spent quite a bit of time both in the church and away from it, I found myself thinking repeatedly, "What's he doing? Don't I get enough of this from my buddies at work?"

Writing style aside-I would've given the book a five out of five otherwise (!)-I don't know of any other book on Christian shelves that deals with sexuality in such a comprehensive manner. I will definitely recommend it to other couples with the encouragement that they overlook the writer's half-baked humour... and trust that the insights offered are quite beneficial.

As a minister I was very pleased at the solid teaching Dr. Leman gives in this and all of his books, (as well as video seminars) I have reviewed. Some of this material will shock some Christians with traditional sensibilities about marital sex. Sex is very important to a marriage. Good sex is something we should all strive for in marriage, it is God's gift to us. This book gives straight forward, sometimes very, very straight forward (insert red face) how to information. But because sex has been hijacked by the world the church has, as a whole, ignored the topic. It is time for some good Biblical teaching. Are you married then be brave and read this book with your spouse. I think you will both be glad you did. Also it would be a great gift for newlyweds and engaged couples!

This book was a little more descriptive than I had imagined, but it was a great book to refocus my attention to my husband and his needs. Overall I enjoyed the book and the idea that sex should be an exciting experience and not something that you just get over with. It was nice reading a book like this from a Christian perspective

Another homerun for Dr. Leman, the Christian Psychologist. I read this book in a couple days and thoroughly enjoyed it. He writes in a very straight-forward manner and goes into explicit detail about sex between husband and wife.There are chapters "For Men Only," and "For Women Only" which are good to have your mate read, if you are at all shy about discussing what you like in bed. Dr. Leman writes in a way that has a lot of humor, and relates stories from his own experiences, that we can all identify with. We laughed out loud at page 198, "Headlights.." As Christians, we need to open the lines of communication with our spouse in all areas of life, including our sex life. God intended this wonderful gift for our pleasure, and Dr. Leman's book is a good way to get started! I'd also highly recommend his other book, "Sex Begins in the Kitchen Because Love is an All Day Affair." Great wedding shower gifts for a Christian girlfriend, or anniversary gift to yourselves!

This is a book to read TOGETHER,discuss, and then of course practice. It makes a nice bedtime story. Dr. Leman is funny, practical, and insightful. Being raised in a christian home, sex and sexual topics were taboo. Dr. Leman expells myths and gives excellent advice on improving your marriage both in and out of the bedroom. We could have used this book 15 years ago and saved alot of heartache and misunderstanding.My wife and I plan on giving this book to every engaged couple with the prayer that they will get their marriage off to the right start. If you are wanting more specific information on techniques to pleasure your spouse, we recommend Lou Paget's books.Of course they are not written from a christian perspective, and we don't agree with certain things. But, why throw the baby out with the bath water?
Dr. Leman's book is not one to read and put on the shelf! Keep it handy and read it often! Thanks to this book we are creating new music! Couples of all ages can benefit from this book.

Easy to read. Easy to understand. May push some Christian couples over their comfort limit; but, for the rest of us, it is liberating and freeing to know that God does not place any boundaries on marital sex, people do! Leman's advice is to enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! And he gives plenty of tips for how to go about this ;). Yes, 'locker' language IS used, but it is very funny, and not at all demeaning. . . . it lightened up the mood (for us) and helped us not to take a serious topic as seriously; what I would term 'ice breakers'! ;) I and my happy hubby LOVED this book (and, it gives PLENTY of advice on a husband's responsibility in PLEASURING HIS WIFE!-- not at all chauvinistic!).

This book is amazing! I would recommend it to anyone planning on getting married and also to anyone already married. Dr. Leman's insight is remarkable. I have read and enjoyed several of his books, but this one so far is the best. He hits the nail right on the head and holds nothing back from the reader.It is definitely worth reading to strengthen your marriage!

The major flaw in this book is that it suffers the presumption that graphic detail equals profundity. It's unnecessary, and in my view, pornographic descriptions (e.g., Chapter 7, "Oral Delights") does nothing but to serve up shock masquerading as insight, and the book gives but passing comment to the deeper issues that contribute to truly satisfying, life-long monogamous intimacy (i.e., the building of trust, character, tenderness, commitment, etc.). Indeed, if sexual technique were the key to that area of life, this culture would have no need of any additional material. The topic would have been better served if approached from this angle: "We are arguably the most sex-saturated culture in the world, and yet the most sex-starved. Why?"

In short, it does a huge disservice to the Christian community, not only for the above reasons, but because it assumes to accurately portray how Christ himself would address the issue. There's very little doubt in my mind He'd toss it in the trash.

Is this guy for real???? I mean really...how do so many christians get away with writing stuff that takes them so far away from God. this book, while more graphic than most, really covers a lot of the same problems as so many other christian marriage/family books, sexual or otherwise. it encourages a lot of me-centered thinking. me me me..whats in it for me. I read somewhere that someone interviewed a ton of christian women and they ALL said they could care less if they ever had sex again. somehow I dont think this a)reflects the world at large although perhaps it DOES accurately represent the evangelical world b)reflects "how God made us different". my personal thought on this is that nobody, male or female..likes to be objectified and the more books like this act like men are just totally one dimensional animals who think of nothing but sex, I would guess that women who dont want to be treated as objects will withdraw more and more. I dont think this is a male/female thing so much as a reflection that people who think that sex is thier god given right and their partners job is to meet thier needs tend to marry people who are sensitive to being turned into objects. NO WHERE does Leman mention that the situation could flip flop gender wise but it does. and if someone is feeling like an object, guess what..putting naked polaroids of yourself all over the place will make things worse not better. I feel sorry for Mr Leman in his view of his own gender and his view of women. I might add, although in this book he briefly encourages sexually abused women to get help (and doesent even mention that many men are abused) that he has stated previously that people shouldnt marry someone who was molested because "then there is baggage for the spouse to deal with". poor thing mightnt get his full measure of sex if he married someone who was abused and had baggage they had to work through first. besides, everyone has baggage and his crap just perpetuates the myth that some people are jsut too broken for a normal life. however this IS the man who brought us the birth order witchery...I realize the review should stay on the one book here but all this guys stuff is just SO bad. I thumbed through his books for small children (each one geared fora different "birth order") and nearly gagged...talk about planting ideas in a childs head about how they are "supposed" to be personality wise by their birth order. heaven help the first born that has no ambition..the shame they must feel for being a "bad" first born.

This book does what I wish Christian writers normally did when they talk about sex - speak the common language, and say it in words that everyone is thinking! Sheet music is very 'to the point', almost too making one blush sometimes, but what it is saying needs to be said - Sex is a gift from God and the state of it in your marriage is a reflection of the state of your marriage! Thanks for being willing to say what needs to be said - I now have a new book to give engaged couples who come for premarital counseling.

I think this book had a definite purpose to say that anything within the bounds of marriage is ok, including sex toys. I think most devout Christians will take offense to this. Not to mention he never bothers to comment that if one partner has biblical concerns about any act, the other partner should honor that. I didn't find this book to uphold a biblical standard for the sexual union within marriage. There are much better books out there for couples who believe sex is a gift from God not to be abused with worldly attitudes.

Our marriage is 100x's better than it would have been without this book! Every couple needs to read this one!

This book is an excellent guide for couples that want to bring more enjoyment into their relationship. Dr. Leman goes the extra mile in discussing topics that are uncomfortable for many, but these are things that really need to be talked about if your marriage is going to be everything that God designed it to be. I highly recommend that engaged couples read the first four chapters before marriage and then the remainder after marriage.

Dr. Lehman writes with strong Christian values (which are hard to come by in this day and age)yet, he is respectful of other beleifs. He addresses common problems seen in sexual relationships from the honeymoon on, including the emotional side. We have REALLY benefited from this book and hve had fun with it too. I would recommend this to ANY couple.

i thought this book was great, it gives you both perspectives and it is not self-centered but the thoughtfulness of thinking of one another. it is a book you will want to read more than once I think, full of great information.

I saw an interview with Dr. Leman on one of the daytime talk shows to promote this book. He said it was a book you can read together - I bought it b/c he especially commented for a husband to really REALLY do something for his wife he could rent her a hotel room, take care of the kids, and allow her some well needed time to herself!" I got the book and it was nothing like it was portrayed in the interview. This is a book for about-to-be-married Christian virgins... I don't think there is a page in the book that doesn't mention the word "God" or "Creator". I am a firm believer in God, but this book is a bit over the top for me, not offering anything I didn't already know - even by common sense. Dr. Leman feels you should always 'give' to your spouse, to fulfill his/her needs, regardless of if you want to or not, since marriage is a contract and sexual satisfaction is part of the deal...

I read this in a week - I couldn't put it down!

A must read for all Christian married couples regardless of how long you've been married.

Leman stresses respecting each other, and giving yourself fully to each other. He also discusses the baggage everyone carries into the bedroom, giving into your spouse when it's not what you want, listening to each other, and the list goes on.

Again, a MUST read for all Christian married couples.

Based on the cover of this book and knowing nothing else but what was writtne on the back when I bought it, I would not recomend this book. It's misleading. Nowhere does it mention God or The Creator that he talks so much about or the fact that he's a Christian psychologist. I was highly dissapointed when I found God on every single page of this book talking about the rights and wrongs of what God has planned for you as far as sex in marriage goes. This isn't to say that I'm against God or don't belive in Him, but really, that was not what I expected out of this book at all. I think some of the things he says could be used regardless of your religious beliefs, but much of it is too focused on what's right in God's eyes.

This book was a quick read, has very relatable examples, is funny, straight forward, etc. I am so glad I purchased "Sheet Music" and will keep it in my personal library forever! Has something for everyone -- newlyweds, couples with kids, empty-nesters, EVERYONE! My husband has really been "pleased" with the results and I am looking forward to him reading through it too! I feel confident that this book has and will continue to bless our marriage!

Excellent book for married couples who truly want to share intimacy with each other. It put my husband's needs in perspective and gave me a totally different outlook.

Kevin Leman is such a good author, easy to read and so personable!

I am getting married in a few weeks and bought this book for my fiance and I to read. I found this book to have numerous strengths: it is straightforward and detailed. I don't imagine that many readers will be confused or have more questions. Dr. Leman celebrates the sexual relationship of the married couple and paints a very healthy, though possibly counter-cultural, view of sex between a husband and a wife. And, along with this he does realistically acknowledge and thoroughly address the challenges of the sexual relationship (tiredness, kids in the next room, husbands generally wanting sex more than wives, orgasm issues, differences between men and women, the role of an emotional connection in the sexual relationship, etc.) This book was written by a Christian psychologist, so there are numerous references to Scripture, which as a Christian, I appreciated.

Despite what I see as many strengths of this book, I rarely read more than a few pages without feeling a little aggravated with Dr. Leman and what I perceive as his bent towards elevating the importance of the husband's sexual needs. First a caveat, I do believe that marriage is about sacrifice. I realize there will be many times when I may not want to have sex and I will sacrificially engage to please and love my husband well. Having said that, Dr. Leman goes a bit further than this, in my opinion. He repeatedly admonishes women to do everything they can, every time they can to please their men (unless it is degrading or morally objectionable to the woman). At one point, Dr. Leman points out that men may feel embarrassed to go buy KY jelly for the wedding night, so he recommends that women do that. It's small, but it is a perfect example of his bent. As an unmarried woman, I am not particularly at ease with the idea of buying KY jelly and condoms--why must I be the one to sacrifice at all times? At multiple places in the book, Dr. Leman suggests rather directly that if a man is having an affair, it is because his wife has not fulfilled his sexual needs. While this may be true, I feel that Dr. Leman paints an incomplete picture with this.

My final critique is that Dr. Leman advocates that both men and women masturbate both in preparation for their first sexual encounter and as a means to address various potential problems (e.g., premature ejaculation and the woman having a hard time reaching orgasm, among others). Many reading this book may not have a problem with this, but as a Christian, I think many will wonder at Dr. Leman's suggestion that we can masturbate while keeping our thoughts pure and will wonder at the seeming contradiction to his simultaneous encouragement for the husband and wife to explore and learn sexually together.

All in all, if you have no sexual experience this book is a good read. It will give you helpful and clear information. Just be aware that you will likely be offended or not agree with Dr. Leman at various points in the text.

Couples in a rut can dig their way out with Dr. Leman's unique way of sharing the husband's perspective as well as giving the husband ideas. I am very thankful for the excitement and fun that this book has created in our marriage and so is my husband!! We are very thankful for the Biblical perspective most of all. I now see fulfilling my husband sexually as something that I can do to make our home more peaceful and happy as opposed to a chore; and I am having lots of fun too!

This is a Biblical, straightforward, practical approach to making love. It has a great chapter on how to approach the honeymoon night so that you can lay the foundation for a lifetime of great sex. My wife and I read it together aloud in bed at age 40, and it brought a newness to our sex lives.

The book also helps the couple walk through things that they fear about sex so that they can work through them in order to be free in bed and make music with the sheets.

This book is outstanding in the way the author talks frankly or "bluntly" and talks from experiance and you will easily find much of what he is talking about applies to you-typical of psychology anyway. I just find it hard to accept that he assumes all the readers will be Catholics or should be Catholics. I hope in the next edition the writer will address everybody as believers of the creater "Lord" irrespect of their messenger, at least for the people of the book! Never-the-less I recommend this book strogly

It's about time an open, honest book about sex has been written for married Christian couples. Dr. Leman had wonderful insight for men and women on how to enhance their sex lives through God's view of marital sex. I have recommended SHEET MUSIC to several friends who have also enjoyed it.

The book's okay, but if you're already married be prepared to skip over the first 6 chapters because it goes into detailed information for engaged couples that those of us who have already been there don't need to be lectured about. Other than that, it's pretty enjoyable.

Great book if you are a husband who is having issues with his wife.
For myself I kept saying.. humm tried that, and he was too tired, tried that and he picked a fight, tried that and.. you get the point.

So this book is Eetremely frustrating if you the reader is in a Sex-Starved Marriage--becasue he has issues- which he won't discuss.

In a recent article in the WSJ it was stated Women aren't the only ones refusing sex, either. In a study of 75 married people in sexually inactive marriages, Dr. Donnelly found that in 60% of the cases, it was the man who had stopped the sex. This intelligent and personable author needs to do some homework and move his perspective into the 21st century and give us another chapter.

WOW! I was already a fan of Dr. Leman's, and this just added to it.

If we are willing to put what we learn from this book into practice, we will see marriages changed! We will see couples that are truly loving and caring for each other. Changed marriages means changed families!

What a blessing! Thanks Dr. Leman!

Dr. Kevin Lehman is a prolific author, who has appeared on a number of well-known television and radio programs. In 'Sheet Music' Dr. Leman spends a fair number of pages on the mechanics of sex, including a few anatomical diagrams. But with 'Sheet Music' I would offer several caveats for Christians to keep in mind about this book:

'Sheet Music' does not reflect an understanding of the primary authority that Scripture is intended to have for believers. Secular perspectives are commonly seen as having equal or even primary authority in comparison to Scripture.

'Sheet Music' fails to present or even assume a full biblical context for Christian life and marriage. The book assumes that Christian marriage is monogamous, but provides little to nothing more in the way of biblical support - even failing to present or make reference to biblical passages would powerfully and dramatically support the author's point! The substantially secular viewpoint reflected in this book includes:

· Recommendations that draw from a secular viewpoint, omitting biblical insights
· Directing Christians specifically to resources outside the local church that have a claim to expertise that lies substantially in secular qualifications, but not spiritual qualifications.

'Sheet Music' falls short of presenting or assuming the full set of biblical passages, such as:

· Biblical passages that contain critical revelations from God, Who created marriage and designed sexual intimacy (including Ephesians 5:21-33; 1 Peter 3:1-7, etc.).
· Biblical passages on the believer's position and condition, identification, walking in the Spirit, recognizing and dealing with the sin nature, and even basic biblical principles on topics like `anxiety' (Philippians 4:6; 1 Peter 5:7).
· The difference between Law and Grace, and the huge difference it makes in all areas of life (sexual intimacy included) and even into eternity (Romans 5; 7:1-6).
· By pointing believers to resources outside of the local church (counseling professionals, sexual therapy clinics, etc.) believers are then setting aside true biblical counsel within the body of Christ, much of the authority and primacy of God's word, and are telling believers to go to resources that are not grace-based, but are charging for their services (contrary to 2 Corinthians 2:17 & chapters 8, 9).
· Believers are directed to the resources of this world (Galatians 6:14; Ephesians 2:1-3) and of the sin nature. With the best of intentions, believers are thereby instructed to walk according to this world's best understanding and in reliance upon the sin nature.

With the understanding that I do not recommend this book overall, here are some of the better quotes from this book:

A couple's sex life is usually a microcosm of the marriage. Every now and then a couple has a great sex life with a poor marriage, but this is the rarity, something you see only every couple of years. Page 10

You need to know that every day a woman internally asks her husband, Do you really love me? Do you really care? Page 10

What warms a woman up is when her husband helps around the house, picks up after himself, helps with the children, makes arrangements for dates, and overall cares for her. If a husband consistently and graciously does this without acting like a martyr, he's going to find, six times out of ten, that his wife is ready and eager to enjoy an active and fulfilling love life. It will be a natural response to a lifestyle of sincere affection. Page 11

Most of us men want to be our wives' heroes. Page 11

As a pastor who has officiated close to 75 weddings and has performed pre-marital for most of those couples, I require a few books for each couple to read prior to their wedding day. After reading Sheet Music, that list grew by one more book. This book describes physical intimacy in terms that all couples can understand and benefit from regardless of their years of marriage. My wife and I could have used this prior to our marriage because we've certainly benefited from it at our current stage of marriage. The chapters concentrating exclusively on men's and women's needs are critical for spouses understanding what often eludes men and women about the other sex!

This book is AWESOME!!!!! I recommend this book to newlyweds AND those couples who have been married for awhile, but need a new outlook on their relationship. This book offers straight-forward, practical insight on the marriage relationship according to God and the Bible. This book answers questions that people may be afraid to discuss with anyone else. The fresh outlooks shared in this book changed my way of thinking both in my relationship with my husband and my relationship with everyone around me. I am going to give this book as a bridal shower/wedding gift to all my friends.

This book has covered everything from singleness, to dating, to the honey moon, to lifelong marriage. It helped me see where I was failing in my marriage to my wife of over 8 years. It goes into very minute detail of the marriage bed, etc. Speaks on in-laws, promiscuity and why it hinders a couple. It goes into the give and take of a marriage. It was a very helpful book to me. I do recommend it to anyone married or who plans to one day be married. The author uses God's Word to back up his conclusions for the marriage bed, therefore it is very enlightening and freeing to the conscience of believers to read this book if we are married.

My husband and I both read this book, and it truly helped us to gain a better perspective on just how important sex is in a marriage to the opposite sex. Men and women truly are wired differently--this book helps to explain some of the ways we are different and how we can understand each other better. If your mate is able to understand what your needs are and why they are that way, then that goes a long way toward getting those needs met in a loving way. Even though the author is a man, he did seem to understand sex from the female point of view in a way that many others do not. The writing style is light and easy to read without any psychobabble, ladies' magazine sex survey overtones, or christianese. My husband does not like to read books, but this one captivated him! This book is written for every married couple, christian or not.

As a newlywed, I found this book to be particulary helpful (all the things I wanted to know and never asked, and things I never even thought to ask!). It took a lot of the mystery out of sex, particulary helping me to see things from my husband's perspective. I subtracted one star because the book does not view masturbation as sinful--otherwise, it's an informative book with a Godly perspective. Note: it is somewhat more graphic than some books I've seen on sex, but I appreciated the author's ability to be candid and tell me what I needed to know.

This is a book that I wish I could have read BEFORE I got married--at least at the very beginning of marriage. It would have saved alot of days and nights of frustration and potential bitterness. The book basically helps lay everyone's expectations out in the open and allows each person in the relationship to understand the other's wants, needs and desires.
An excellent gift for anyone getting married...or celebrating their 25th anniversary!
Enjoy!

Initially I thought I was reading a really erotic book. Christians may find this book offensive because of all the things the author speaks about and ways of improving your marriage via sex. I am here that this book isn't so much about sex (although I can tell you that this book has a lot of sex and how it can be used to not only improve your sex life, but improve you marriage, especially if your marriage has entered a stage of boredom, stagnation, or on the verge of divorce), but on how the 'other' spouse thinks. Men: do yourself a favor-- GET THIS BOOK! You will understand your wife so much and she will love you for it. Women: GET THIS BOOK! Now you will understand why men do what they do and why they seem aloof to you. This is one phenomenal book that I have begun to re-read it a second time, only this time, I have my notebook handy and taking notes. The BEST part is that he uses Biblical passages on why God is the author of sex and why if done His way, you can't possibly go wrong. There is one spot I am a little iffy on, and that has to do with oral sex but this is a subject left to each and every Christian couple to decide if this is for them or not. I strongly suggest this book, if not only to learn how to understand your spouse but to break that taboo way of thinking that sex is a dirty word. It isn't. God intended Christians to have fun during sex. Dr. Leman will show you will Biblically and in a way you never thought. EXCELLENT!

Wow. I really wish we had this book 35 years ago. It could have made things even better and more comfortable. This book is about marital sexuality, for sure, but at a whole different level, it is about finding, renewing and keeping the sweetness, companionship and sense of "couple" in a marriage.

We picked up this, and a couple other books at a one day Marriage Booster Mini-Retreat. At home, I opened it up to see if it looked as good as the cover promo. Again, wow. I read the book in a couple evenings. My wife wanted to know what I was laughing about. She has started the book now, and I am getting a second copy so we can read it simultaneously and hopefully have some fun discussions along the way, I also want to re-read the book at a more leisurely pace and reconsider some of the details.

From the reviews here, it seems the opinions fall into two groups; the book is wonderful and helpful, or it is terrible and un-Godly. I am firmly in the first camp. I'm sure there are people who will be put off by this book and the Song of Solomon like descriptions in it. If you think you will be offended, then pass. If, like most married couples you long for ways to renew and enrich your marriage relationship at all levels, I think this book can be for you.

i had this book tagged for over a year under my favorites after seeing Dr Leman on James Robison. I have his Birth-Order book and three of the children's books "There's No One Like You" which my kids LOVE. They love for me to read their books to them and even have a special place to keep them. I love his writing style. So one day, I clicked on my favorites list and was reminded of it and I ordered it. It is straight to the point. I could not believe some of the stuff I was reading, and more than that, it was written by a "christian"!!!! Answered so many questions that I had, gave me more information that I could have asked for. One night, I told my husband...."My book says that men like *****" He grinned and said, "Mmmhmm". I replied, "We have been married for 15 years and you've never told me that." He simply said, "You've never asked". I've since given the book to my mother and my best friend. My daughters are only 8 & 9 years old, but as soon as they are old enough, they WILL be reading the first 3 chapters and will have a copy to take on their honeymoon. When you read this book, you will laugh and blush and your head will spin. And if you question whether he is right or wrong....just ask your spouse. Now my hubby's Mr. Happy is also happy alot more too! He will tell you it was well worth my $10 investment.

I bought this book and first read it before I got married, and am re-reading it a year later. Every time I read it, I pull out new insights. It's easy to find books about techniques and positions, but what I love about this book is its discussion on the emotional and relationship issues that underlie everything. It has really helped me see my marriage from a different perspective, and whenever I pick it up, it inspires me to try to be the best wife and person I can be. I was also extremely relieved to find that, although Leman is a Christian, he is not preachy at all. Many people growing up in a religious household learn to think of sex as something that you shouldn't talk about, but this book helped me to see sex as an awesome and important part of marriage. In short, I love this book and I think couples at any stage can really benefit from it.

My husband and I found this to be a great tool to open up conversation about intimacy. After a 15 year relationship, we were reminded of not only the importance of this part of our lives, but also of the freedom we enjoy. Not stoggy, or judgemental... a real blessing.

We give this book as wedding gifts and to other couples we think would read it. It is a very personal book, with lots of details. But if you will read it, your marriage will benefit.

My finance and I have recently started reading this book and it is great! I am looking forward to our wedding, so that we can put this excelent advise to use. We have only read the first few chapters and we will read the others after we are married (as instructed by the author). If the remaining chapters are half as good as the first few, we will be in for a treat! I can't thank my friend who recommended this enough. I would recommend this book to all couples, engaged, newlyweds, or married for 30 years. This guy really knows what he is talking about. I will be reading more of his books as well.

I don't want to sound like I'm pitching this book or anything, but the information in it did open up doors to help us strengthen our marriage and our friendship. The author makes some very strong points and shares a lot of his experiences with people from his psychiatric practice. He backs up some of his strongest points with quotes from the Bible that make you think, "huh?" Even if you don't think you need any help with your marriage, I would recommend this book to every couple. You might just learn something surprising.

This is a must have for all couples planning to marry or already married. My husband and I have a wonderful marriage however, now that we've read this book, it's going to be even BETTER. Buy it as a wedding shower gift! They will thank you. We read this book as a book club selection for our MOPS (Mothers Of Pre-schoolers) group. It was the largest turn out to date with 14 women in attendance. Conversation was lively & everyone was beaming with new found excitement in their marriages. Thank you Dr. Leman for such a great book!

A masterful piece of work for any marriage. Benefical to newlyweds but also marriages of 30+ years!! I recommend both partners read it. It will bring a new joy to your marriage, the way God intended it to be.

I highly recommend this book for all couples - soon-to-be married, just married, married forever - no matter your stage, this book is sure to be enjoyable and valuable!

Book covers get info on sheet music. I loved it!

This was a great book to read and as newly weds me and my wife have found it to be very helpful. Highly recommend it to anyone who is either married or engaged.

God Bless!!

Finally a book that answers all the questions everyone has been asking about sex. He is blunt and up front. Kevin Leman is awesome and you will learn everything you ever need to know about sex and were too embarrased to ask.

I LOVE THIS BOOK! I can't say enough good things about it. The author has a unique blend of humor, medical advice, marital advice and bluntness that makes it all somehow work. With a touchy subject like this (no pun intended), it could be an awkward topic. Not with this book! I actually couldn't put the book down. There was so much good information in it. The author's Christian perspective was great, but thankfully, it's not the kind to hit you over the head, so to speak. This is a fantastic book and couples of all stages will appreciate it.

Anyone composing a list of essential marriage and pre-marital books, would do a disservice to omit this one. Dr. Lehman has done a wonderful service in presenting this book on sex directed at Christian couples. However, even non-religious couples could probably take something away. This book is frank, humorous, and overall worth your time. Aside from what you'd expect from a typical book on sex, there are also many wise words here. As a way to get your marriage started off right or to turn it around, this book is a concrete way to help make that happen.

This book is extremely open and honest. I loved it and read it in a couple days. My husband is planning to read it too. It helped me remember what life was like before kids.

This was the best book. I have never blushed and giggled so much before. This book helped me realize that it is okay to have fun in bed with your husband. The fire is there like it has never been before. My husband even made the comment that He wished he could personally thank Dr. Leman
Every newelywed couple should read this. Dr. Leman thank you for your wisdom. YOu have made my marriage come alive.

Wow! Dr. Leman spares no details in this one! And even after 10 years of marriage, he helped me see marriage in general and intimacy in particular in a new way. Be prepared for what society would probably deem an "old fashioned" approach to love relationships, but don't knock it till you try it... cuz it works!
If it did nothing more than remind me of how different my husband is from me (and how different our needs are) - it was worth it! It made me want to stop taking my man for granted. And who knows...it just might ignite "creativity" in the bedroom again. Thanks Dr. Leman!

Brilliant book. I recommend it to all those who wish to have a happy sex life in marriage. If engaged, only read through chapter four. When married, read away!

EVERY YOUNG ADULT should read this book before marriage ~
EVERY married couple celebating 1-5 yrs of marriage SHOULD read this book !!
EVERY MARRIED COUPLE celebrating5-80 yrs of married should read this book !!!!

I am so grateful this author was bold and blunt !! HE answered many questions for me !!!!

EVERY MOTHER should give this book to her daughter during the engagement!
EVERY FATHER should give this book to his son during the engagement!

This book has jump started my marriage. As newlyweds, there was so many issues going into a sexual relationship and this book has helped my husband and I TREMENDOUSLY! We are comfortable and it got us talking about a lot of things that we thought we had handled but really needed to address more. Anyone who has remained pure in any fashion until marriage has to read this book in order to unveil what God has in store for your intimate relationship in marriage.

Wonderful suggestions. My wife loves me more each time I pick it up. We share some wonderful interests in the points this book makes. If you're already marrried, this could save you from a future of counseling.

Everyone woman should read this book a couple of weeks before her wedding and every man should read it the week before the wedding. It is an incredible book of helpful information regarding sex in marriage. It gives information for newlyweds that is absolutely invaluable, as well as what to expect for the completely clueless. It is one of the best books I've read regarding the sexual relationship in marriage. My husband and I are reading it together, which also gives great opportunities for discussion.

This book is a wonderful resource for married couples who want to have a more fulfilling sex life, and the first half is an EXCELLENT resource for engaged couples who hope to have a wonderful sex life once they're married. Dr. Leman is honest and forthright without being crude. This book has helped me, and I know it's going to help my husband, too!

This is a great book! Funny and to the point. It really helped me understand how my husband ticks and how to be a better lover. Dr. Leman is very blunt, but if that doesn't bother you, than you'll love this book!

I've only been married 1 year and 3 months, but I've only read 3 chapters from this book and wish I had it 6 months BEFORE I got married. The information, suggestions and advice are FABULOUS. But, even as a married person, my oulook on many things have changed, or improved, from this book. IT IS A MUST READ!!!

It's a really great book for an engaged couple to read before (and during) the honeymoon. I would highly recommend it to anybody preparing for a very exciting but challenging new area of your relationship (sexual love).

I think every married couple needs this book. I think it would save a lot of marriages if we could understand the importance of the intimate relationship with your spouse. It is learning to give and to receive from each other. From my own experience when you have a awesome relationship with your spouse then when the storms of life hit, it is so much easier to go through them together. I highly recommend this book for every couple young and old.
We have been married for 29yrs and it has help us find the excitment again.
Sheet Music

Our pastor recommended this book (from the pulpit) to every married couple in our church! It is a frank, accurate, informative book on the importance and the execution of a healthy sex life within a marriage. The author doesn't sugar-coat anything or tip-toe around the matters of sex. It's helped my husband and I improve our sex life and our communication about it! I strongly recommend it to anyone -- newlyweds and oldlyweds -- seeking to improve their marriage or their sex life!

Let the truth set you free. Enjoy a sweeter marriage than you thought possible. Read this book together and renew the spark of intimicy. I am so thankful for this book.

This book provided excellent sex 101 info for what sex is intended for...intimacy between a man and woman. This book also enriched my marriage by inviting my husband and me into a greater level of intimacy after 10 years of marriage. It reminded us that God blesses and loves us to enjoy our intimacy. This book is for the to-be couple to get them thinking and planning for their marriage, as well as the newly and committed married couples.

Definitely a worthwhile read whether your marriage is a couple years old, or going on your 50th anniv. Thoughtfully written, well-researched and supported, and Kevin Leman is his usual hilarious self. Insightful and full of good ideas for either spouse.

Dr. Leman tells it like it is and gives a refreshing perspective on the subject of sexual intimacy within the boundaries of marriage. A must have for newlyweds! Adds a little spice to seasoned marriages!

Great book! Dr. Leman combines good common sense with a biblical view of psychology. Sheet Music was recommended to me by a friend, and now I gladly recommend it to other couples who want to get the most and best out of their marriage.

This book was hilarious and informative. Kevin Lehman handled a "touchy" subject with grace and humor. He made so much sense! It totally changed my attitude toward my husband and our intimate relationship.

I was amazed by some of the topics covered in this book. He speks very candidly about topics that many people have avopided for years. Even though this is a book about sex in marriage, it hits pretty hard at basic marital issues. If only people could get past the title and not view it as just a sex book, it dives into many important topics for marriages that in order to have a great sex life, need to be healthy. I would recommend this book all the time!

Real honest. Not at all distasteful. A great book to inspire greater intimacy. I would have loved to have this book before I married.

Dr. Kevin Leman, a popular psychologist and author, has appeared on numerous television and radio programs including Good Morning America, Today, The View, and Focus on the Family. Most of his many books focus on family and parenting relationships, dispensing advice from a Biblical worldview on how to raise children and have a healthy, fulfilling marriage. He wrote Sheet Music because of the supreme importance sex plays in our lives and the little attention sex within marriage receives from our society.

"Oh, we joke about sex, degrading it through filthy stories, movies, and magazines, but we never talk about marital sex in the way the Creator designed it," Leman writes. "Marital sex - the most important and only appropriate kind, in my view - gets ignored, and couples pay a fearful price when this sad reality happens. He continues, "If you're married, sex will be one of the most important parts of your life, whether you want it to be that way or not. If you don't treat sex this way - as a matter of supreme importance - you're shortchanging yourself, your spouse, and your kids."

Leman attempts to do two things with Sheet Music: explain why having sex is important for a married couple and how to do it better. He starts the book by detailing how many different factors determine our different sexual attitudes and demeanors. Here he states the obvious ones like parental influence and early childhood memories, as well as the less evident, such as the birth order among siblings.

Many of the chapters in the book are general and would apply to almost anyone. For example, Leman writes one chapter on different sexual positions, explaining the basic mechanics of the most commonly practiced positions. Other chapters are dedicated to foreplay, eliminating sexual turnoffs, gender differences between men and women, spice and variety in marital sex, and oral sex. These portions of the book are beneficial to anyone engaged in a monogamous sexual relationship and a discussion of the Biblical perspective of these topics are desperately needed in our society, both for Christians and non-Christians alike.

For example, in Leman's chapter on oral sex he recalled a time he was on a radio program with another "Christian authority" that apparently was all too eager to denounce oral sex, even within the confines of marriage. During his rant, Leman leaned over and whispered, "Don't knock it until you've tried it." I believe these legalistic beliefs exist within some Christian circles because of a lack of knowledge and frank discussion on the Biblical view of sex. These extra-Biblical opinions, besides being plain wrong, also can harm Christian marriages.

Other parts of Sheet Music were directed toward more specific audiences, even though all could benefit from reading them. In "Learning to Make Music" Leman writes to engaged couples who have abstained from sex in their relationship thus far. Besides encouraging the couple to wait until they exchange vows, he also gives them a number of tips on how to make their first experience both an enjoyable and learning experience. In "Sex in the Winter" Leman talks to older couples on the joys of sex in one's "forties, fifties, sixties, and beyond." Here he writes about the many changes occurring in men and women and what they can do to compensate for these changes.

I have to give Dr. Leman credit for so openly tackling a subject that many within the Christian community have either ignored or glossed over. When talking and writing about sex, it is easy to either do so in crude terms or clinical, sterile terms. Here Leman does a fairly good job of using plain English without venturing too far in either direction. Leman never minces words or avoids a touchy subject, as he answers questions on everything from anal sex to pornography to the use of sex toys (i.e. vibrators). While I might not necessarily agree with every single opinion he gives throughout the book, I can't fault him either. In many cases I was just glad that a Christian source was discussing these subjects and making the information available.

Given the sensitive topics, he also peppers his writing with humor, which keeps the book interesting and fresh and keeps him from taking himself too seriously. Dr. Leman also has an extensive background in marital counseling and constantly uses real life examples to illustrate the points in his book. These stories are much more engaging to the reader than if the material was simply related in an informative, textbook-type approach.

Sheet Music is far from the complete, thorough guide to sex for couples. It is, however, a good start and a solid contribution. Addressing timely and relative topics, Dr. Leman does a great job of dispensing Biblical, Christian advice to married couples on sex. The greatest value in this book is its easy-to-read, breezy style, and the range of topics it covers both openly and sensitively. I would heartily recommend this book to any married couple.

This book is a God Send book. The Bible states, "My people are destroyed for the lack of knowledge," and I must say that the knowledge Dr. Leman imparts regarding scripture is truly a marriage saver. My wife and I are a young couple and there are things that we know about marriage and each other that will help our relationship grow, but there are some things we just didn't know about each other as it relates to the power of sexual intimacy and the necessaity of it to have a vibrant relationship without children and with children. There are things that our parents did not teach us becasue they didn't know them to teach us, but now we can teach our children and each other in the process. Overall, we have a greater respect for the act of sex as it pertains to God and a greater respect and understanding for each other regarding sexual intimacy. My wife and I even desire to purchase this book for other couples that they may be enlightened by this book and glorify God in a most dynamic way!

Insightful and full of good ideas for either spouse.Thoughtfully written, well-researched and supported, and the author is his usual hilarious self.
I also recommend my favorite book in this matter: I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't

A great Christian perspective on how great marital sex could/should be!! Written in such a way to put the reader at ease but to also get you to thinking about what you can do to "help things."

The book came super fast, within a few days! Book was in the condition promised, no complaints!

This book makes a great gift for an engaged couple! The first chapters are geared toward couples who are virgins going into their marriage; however I think the information works for every newlywed couple. Also a good read for couples married 5,10, or 20+ years. I did feel that the book put too much responsibility put on the wife to keep things going sexually within a marriage, and not much information on what could cause intimacy problems within a marriage. Those two points are what prevented me from giving the book 5 stars. But as a gift for an engaged couple - WONDERFUL!!!

We ordered the book and read it in three days and then order 3 dozen more for all the people we care about. It is an enjoyable read with many "laugh out loud" portions. The insights into the opposite sex are so helpful and Dr. Leman's "in your face" style almost makes you blush. What a fun book for engaged couple to old folks like us. It's sure put a SMILE on our small community!!